Sometimes I Am So Happy It Feels Unfair

Can’t complain about anything these days. Thank you, universe!


My Little Bean Sprout

 

Jah was sick, on and off, the past week. It was a first a fever, then a cold. Then the fever disappeared, but a rash took its place. And then, a cough that wouldn’t go away. Almost every night my 15 month old had difficulty sleeping, and he would sleep in our bed, tossing and turning, burrowing his tiny head between my  armpit for warmth, or comfort, I don’t know. I would tuck his little legs between mine, which he liked. But every few hours, when his nose would be too clogged to breathe, he would wake up crying, so that I, too, was delirious from lack of sleep, constantly trying to calm him down. One position he especially liked was sleeping on my belly in a prostate position. It was during one of these delirious states that I realized how big he was. Already, his body is longer than my torso—which is amazing, considering I grew him in my belly from the size of a bean. How long til he’s taller than me? When can I fit, cradled in his armpit, with his chin resting on top of my head instead?


Jah Broke My Heart

When Jah arrived from a week in Milwaukee without both his parents, he was not happy. He cried when he saw me at the airport, angrily, then reached for his nanny. He’s never going anywhere without us again.


For Our Last Night Without the Booboojingjing

We did some more karaoke, met up with old friends, hung out with new ones…til 4 a.m. It was a welcome distraction; I couldn’t wait til morning.


Whoa, I am a Real Mommy


I was missing Jah so badly today, and I realized this must be how parents feel all the time when their children are away. It’s a sick, queasy feeling coupled with an emptiness that distracts you into trying to start everything and finishing nothing.


This Week Was Pretty Productive


Jah went to Milwaukee to visit relatives without us, so we tried to keep busy. We bought our tickets to the Philippines, got old computers fixed, cleaned out closets, got massages, watched a movie (Moneyball) in a real theater and went to the Prospector for karaoke. I sang “Suedehead” by Morrissey and it’s been in my head since.


Three of My Favorite Things in One Picture


Jah schools Adam on guitar.


Jah Got Serenaded

The artist Airika played this song on her mini accordion especially–and only for–Jah because she thought he was so cute! She’s an amazing artist, and he loooooved it. I’m sure even at 9 months old he knew how special that was.


Sorry I Was Out of Commission…Had a Baby and All

Can you blame me for thinking I have the cutest baby ever?


My Toes Look Like Vienna Sausages (and Other Pregnant Pauses)


One day I will take a photo of my toes
And look at it years later, wrinkle my nose
They look like they should be stuffed in a can
Or cooking in a campfire frying pan.

It’s not the only thing that’s weird about me
So many changes come with a growing belly
There’s the obvious fact; my clothes don’t fit
And oh, frabjous day! My humongous tits

I am puffy everywhere; my fingers the most
And every painkiller is an improbable dose
I got carpal tunnel, that’s no fun
And swelling everywhere comes from the scorching sun

I can’t eat sushi, raw milk or caffeine
And still I’m gaining five pounds a week it seems
Bending over’s a challenge, so’s wiping my butt
My walk is a waddle, no longer a strut

When counting down weeks, days seem like years
And every minute a new stretchmark appears
I’m not complaining, Jah’s all I’m looking forward to
And on his birth day, my whole life will be like new!